- - local guy who "always thought he'd squander his life differently," per a july 2019 headline in the onion
- - Local guy mentioned in Onion headlines
- - Frequent subject of headlines in The Onion
- - Facetious local subject in many articles in 'The Onion'
- - Local, in a news article
- - Facetious subject of many articles in The Onion
- - Common protagonist in The Onion
- - Subject of many Onion news stories
- - Local, in a news story
- - person who "always thought he'd squander his life differently," in a headline from the onion
- - neighborhood guy in onion headlines
- - Subject of many an "Onion" article
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